Always Be In My Heart
by LLTogetherForever
Summary: Life after Partings. Written in short letters and IMs. Confrontation at the end. Complete.
1. May 29th, 2006

Dear Lorelai,

Please read this, don't just toss it away like it means nothing to you. I just want you to know that I love you, and I always will, regardless of what happens between us. The first time we touched was amazing. Our first kiss was electrifying, and the first time we slept together was unbelievable. I've had the best times of my life with you, times I'll never forget and I'll always keep in my heart.

You know that although April came into my life, you were still my leading lady. No one could replace that. You have to understand that finding out about April was difficult for me. I love her very much, but I needed more time to learn how to love her. She was new to me. I wanted to get to know her before she met you, Lorelai. I was afraid that if I told you about her too soon she wouldn't want to spend time with me. I knew the two of you would get along. I wanted her to myself. I see now that it was the wrong decision, and if I could go back, I would change that, but I can't. What's done is done.

You also need to understand that I knew you were the woman I wanted to marry from the moment I saw you come into my diner so many years ago. I watched you have your heart broken over and over. I wanted to say something, but I couldn't. Until the night of Liz and T.J.'s wedding, I thought I would never be able to muster up the strength to ask you out.

I was an idiot to break it off the first time. Telling you I was all in, and then deciding it was too much pressure for me to be all in was wrong. I was stupid and I knew it. When you called me and asked me to come over and just sit with you, I figured that was my chance to make it right again, but you ended the evening before it even started. I wish I would have taken the initiative to do the right thing and taken you back. Leaving you was the dumbest thing I ever did.

The last thing I want to say is that I'm sorry. I'm sorry that I couldn't come through for you. You've been through a lot, and I was unbelievably stupid to end it. I want us to start over. Pretend none of this ever happened, but we can't. It's impossible. You're too strong of a woman to forget everything, and not weak enough to give in. I could never ask for you back.

You said now or never. I need a middle. What happened to our happy medium? We were supposed to be together forever. I love you, Lorelai Victoria Gilmore, with all my heart.

Love (Although you may not want it,)

Luke


	2. June 1st, 2006

Luke-

How can you expect me to forgive you? You think that the pain you've caused me won't take time to heal? Well, it will. I'm not ready to forgive you, Luke. You left me. I waited for you. I wanted to marry you, to spend the rest of my life with you. How could you do that to me? I waited weeks for you, Luke. Weeks! Weeks out of my life that I would've much rather used planning our wedding and being with you.

April isn't a problem. She's a part of your life now. I can't do anything about that. Neither can you. You can't think of her as a problem. She's a person who needs you and your love now. Be a great dad.

I hope one of these days we can be friends again. I'm not ready now to jump into anything. I'm still hurt and confused. Why would you end it? You wanted to marry me, didn't you? Why would you choose never?

Lorelai


	3. June 3rd, 2006

Dear Lorelai,

I don't know whether or not you want to think about it, but today was supposed to be our wedding. Well, at first at least. I was just thinking. We should get together. Very casually. Coffee? I know you love it. Can you do 11:30 on Thursday? I miss you. Write back.

Love (whether you want it or not,)

Luke


	4. June 7th, 2006

Luke,

I need space. Do you not understand that? You've put me through a lot. More that I would have liked. I'm not ready to see you again.

April's birthday is the 26th, right? Ask her what she wants. I'd like to get her something. Tell her I say hi. Nothing else. She doesn't need to be included in this whole ordeal.

Lorelai


	5. June 10th, 2006

Lovely Lorelai,

I'm sorry. I didn't mean to rush into anything. I just want to get on your good side again. Remember how much fun we had when I was on your good side? I love you, Lorelai. More that you could ever know. All I want right now is for you to take me back. All I need is for you to forgive me and realize how sorry I am. I'm really sorry.

I told April you said hi. She says hi back and wants to know when you'll be in the diner. I told her you were busy with the Inn. She still doesn't know about us, I'd like to keep it that way.

She said you don't have to get her anything, but she really wants a new science kit. Apparently it's all about DNA and stuff like that. She's really into it. It's called Science and DNA. Boring name. She says it's cool though.

I'd really appreciate you telling me when you're ready to get together. I just need to talk to you in person. There are things you can only say in person. I need to say those things.

Love,

Luke


	6. June 19th, 2006

Dear Luke,

I know it's been awhile since I wrote you back. I'm sorry about that. But I'm ready to see you. I needed time to think, and I've come to the conclusion that I have things I need to say to you, too. Things that, like you said, can only be said in person. I did something really stupid that I need to tell you about. It happened the night we broke up. That's all I'll say about it.

I agree that April doesn't need to know about this. She has enough to deal with. I went out and bought that DNA kit for her. It looks pretty cool. I'll give it to you when I see you. How is Weston's on Friday at 4? I have a staff meeting at the Inn, but it should be out by then.

I want you to know that I love you too, but it's more of the love that I also have for Christopher. I love you, but not in a romantic way. I need to work back up to that.

Love,

Lorelai


	7. June 21st, 2006

Lorelai,

Friday's great. I'm looking forward to talking to you. I still love you romantically. I always will. It's something that doesn't go away. I hope I can help you get back up to where I am with you.

April's really excited about her birthday. She thinks I got her the Science kit, and she's been ultra nice lately. I can't wait for you to give it to her. Would you mind giving it to her yourself though? I think that if we want her to believe we're together, she actually has to see you. She'll be by the diner Saturday night before we go to our movie. We decided to do something special together every Saturday.

I can't wait to see you!

Love,

Luke


	8. June 22nd, 2006

Dear Luke,

I think giving April her gift myself is a good idea, but I don't think I should do it before you guys leave. She might suggest I come with you, and I don't think Anna would like it much. Besides that, I would be uncomfortable. Maybe Sunday you could get her to the diner for dinner or breakfast or something. I'll meet her there.

Well, tomorrow's the big day! I can't wait to see you.

Love,

Lorelai


	9. June 24th, 2006

Lorelai,

I had a great time with you yesterday. I can't believe how nice it was to finally see you again. Why couldn't you tell me what you did after we broke up? We're already broken up. I want to know.

You have no idea how hard it was for me not to kiss you goodbye. That hug wasn't enough for me.

Listen, I got and instant messaging name. It's LukeDnrMan. Do you have one? If you do, we can talk on there. It's a lot easier than waiting days at a time for the next letter. Try it.

April can come to the diner tomorrow morning at 11. Can you be there?

Love,

Luke


	10. June 27th, 2006

Well Luke,

In fact, I do have an Instant Messaging name. I use it with Rory, so don't make fun of it. It's YurHotMama. Don't laugh. It was a joke between me and Rory, but I don't know how to make a new one, she did it for me.

I'm so happy that April liked her gift. It was great to see her again. She's such a sweet girl. Reminds me of Rory when she was 13. I wonder how we both ended up with such smart kids (Just kidding.)

Maybe next time, I'll let you kiss my cheek. Or my hand. I don't know.

After I tell you what I did, you may not want to anymore.

Love,

Lorelai


	11. June 28th, 2006

YurHotMama: hey luke!

LukeDnrMan: hi

YurHotMama: i think i'm ready to tell you what i did

LukeDnrMan: oh yeah?

YurHotMama: yeah

LukeDnrMan: ok, shoot

YurHotMama: are you sure?

LukeDnrMan: just say it already, would ya?

YurHotMama: you asked for it

YurHotMama: i slept with christopher

YurHotMama: luke? are you there?

LukeDnrMan: christopher? out of all the people you could have gone to, you chose to go to christopher?

YurHotMama: you're making me sound like a slut

LukeDnrMan: i can't believe this

LukeDnrMan: i can't believe you!

LukeDnrMan: lorelai, we were supposed to have it all

YurHotMama: you broke up with me! what was i supposed to do about it?

LukeDnrMan: not sleep with your daughter's father

YurHotMama: well, i'm sorry. but i needed love and i knew that he would love me. he always does.

LukeDnrMan: i've always loved you, lorelai

YurHotMama: not like christopher has.

LukeDnrMan: what are you talking about

YurHotMama: when i do something wrong, christopher is always the one comforting me, and you're the mad one. always

LukeDnrMan: have you ever slept with christopher while we were together?

YurHotMama: no, but I slept with him when i was with max, and before alex, and wanted to when i was with jason.

LukeDnrMan: so who haven't you cheated on?

YurHotMama: you

LukeDnrMan: you might as well have.

YurHotMama: what, did you want me to or something?

LukeDnrMan: you're not getting the point, lorelai. the whole point is that you hurt me by doing this, and we weren't even together when it happened. imagine what it would have felt like if you did it while we were together

YurHotMama: i'm sorry

LukeDnrMan: you're always sorry.

YurHotMama: i love you, luke.

LukeDnrMan: i have to go


	12. June 29th, 2006

LukeDnrMan: i want to talk

YurHotMama: if you're going to get mad, i don't want to

LukeDnrMan: can you blame me?

YurHotMama: yes.

LukeDnrMan: how

YurHotMama: if you knew me at all, you would know that, except the time that made rory, every time i've slept with christopher has been unmeaningful

LukeDnrMan: that doesn't excuse the fact that you slept with him

YurHotMama: we were broken up! i was free to sleep with whoever i wanted to sleep with!

LukeDnrMan: still

YurHotMama: luke, if you can't accept this, then maybe we shouldn't be trying to get back together

LukeDnrMan: i still love you, no matter what. i want to get back together

YurHotMama: then if you love me, you could put this behind us and forget about it

LukeDnrMan: maybe i should

YurHotMama: you should

LukeDnrMan: come to the diner tomorrow at 7

YurHotMama: in the morning?

LukeDnrMan: do you think i forgot that gilmore women don't wake up until at least 9?

YurHotMama: does that mean at night?

LukeDnrMan: yes. 7 tomorrow night

YurHotMama: ok

LukeDnrMan: ok?

YurHotMama: yes, ok.

LukeDnrMan: i didn't expect you to say yes

YurHotMama: well i did

LukeDnrMan: i know. wow. you said yes


	13. June 30th, 2006

YurHotMama: i can't believe you kissed me

LukeDnrMan: i can't either. i don't know what came over me

YurHotMama: that was not an innocent kiss

LukeDnrMan: there were tongues

YurHotMama: yes, and groping. you groped me!

LukeDnrMan: i've already seen you naked. it's not that big of a deal

YurHotMama: luke!

LukeDnrMan: lorelai!

YurHotMama: not funny

LukeDnrMan: fine. i'm sorry

YurHotMama: luke?

LukeDnrMan: yes?

YurHotMama: i don't want you to be sorry

LukeDnrMan: what?

YurHotMama: i said, i don't want you to be sorry

LukeDnrMan: i got that.

LukeDnrMan: but why?

YurHotMama: because it was kind of nice

LukeDnrMan: nice?

YurHotMama: actually, yeah.

LukeDnrMan: it was?

YurHotMama: i forget what it felt like to be touched by you

LukeDnrMan: i forgot what it felt like to kiss you

YurHotMama: so did i

LukeDnrMan: you forgot what it felt like to kiss yourself?

YurHotMama: that's not funny either. way to ruin the moment

LukeDnrMan: sorry

LukeDnrMan: oops, can i be sorry for that?

YurHotMama: yes, you can be sorry for that

LukeDnrMan: good.

YurHotMama: luke?

LukeDnrMan: what

YurHotMama: is that you sitting on my driveway with kirk and a laptop?

LukeDnrMan: maybe

YurHotMama: tell kirk to go away and get your butt in here

LukeDnrMan: yes m'am


	14. Author's Note

Just to set the record straight, I know that April's birthday was April 25th. I needed it to be in June for part of my plot.


	15. July 1st, 2006

LukeDnrMan: last night was amazing

YurHotMama: i second that

LukeDnrMan: you're amazing

YurHotMama: no you are

LukeDnrMan: so are you

YurHotMama: i am, aren't i?

LukeDnrMan: yep

YurHotMama: 

LukeDnrMan: did we actually do that?

YurHotMama: do what?

LukeDnrMan: you know what

YurHotMama: then, yes, we did.

LukeDnrMan: wow

YurHotMama: it was great, wasn't it

LukeDnrMan: it sure was

YurHotMama: do you want to do it again tonight?

LukeDnrMan: do you?

YurHotMama: i asked you first, and yes

LukeDnrMan: i couldn't say no if i wanted to

YurHotMama: that's good

LukeDnrMan: can you come over now?

YurHotMama: i'm waiting for rory to come over

LukeDnrMan: then we can't do it again tonight

YurHotMama: why not?

LukeDnrMan: i'm not sleeping with you with your daughter in the house

YurHotMama: she knows we have sex, luke

LukeDnrMan: does she know we broke up?

YurHotMama: yes

LukeDnrMan: people that break up don't have sex

YurHotMama: oh. i forgot about that part

LukeDnrMan: apparently

YurHotMama: well, i could come to your place after she gets here

YurHotMama: or i could just tell her to go to lane's, and that i'll be back later

LukeDnrMan: lane's married now

YurHotMama: oh. i forgot about that too

LukeDnrMan: things aren't like how they used to be, are they?

YurHotMama: nope. definitely not.

YurHotMama: i can call her and tell her that i had a meeting at the inn, and that she shouldn't come until later

LukeDnrMan: that would cut our night short

YurHotMama: maybe we shouldn't

LukeDnrMan: whoa. where did that come from?

YurHotMama: if we have to do this like teenagers, then maybe we shouldn't do this.

LukeDnrMan: we could just tell rory we're back together.

YurHotMama: are we back together?

LukeDnrMan: i thought so.

YurHotMama: maybe we are

LukeDnrMan: we are

LukeDnrMan: lorelai? are you there?

LukeDnrMan: lorelai?

LukeDnrMan: lorelai!

LukeDnrMan: where did you go?

LukeDnrMan: ugh. wait a second, wherever you are, someone's knocking on my door.


	16. An Ending, and A New Beginning

Luke moved his mouse and clicked the "X" on the IM to close it. Getting up slowly, he tried to look through the glass on his door. He saw a dark outline of a person, but he couldn't tell who it was. Luke walked to the door and unlocked the deadbolt and door lock. He was silently hoping for Lorelai to be standing there. He was wrong.

"Christopher? What are you doing here? Haven't you already done enough?" Luke said angrily.

"I wanted to apologize," Christopher said.

"I already know what happened. Lorelai told me and we're back together. We don't need you bothering us anymore." Luke started to shut the door, but Christopher stopped him.

"Did she tell you everything?" Christopher asked.

"She told me she slept with you and that it meant nothing."

"Nothing else?"

"No."

"There's more," Christopher said, letting himself into Luke's apartment.

"So you come here, barge into my apartment, and try to tell me about my girlfriend? What's your problem?"

"Lorelai's pregnant."

"What? No she isn't."

"Yes, she is. She told me when she came over last month." Luke sat down.

"Why wouldn't she tell me?" Luke asked.

"I don't know. But she told me that you wouldn't love the baby, and that she didn't know what to do. First she was talking abortion, but I talked her out of it. Then, after talking to Rory, she decided to raise it by herself, with Rory's help. I think she was a little confused after you contacted her and she was stuck between leaving you forever and telling you about the baby. Either way, she figured you would leave, so she didn't tell you."

"I can't believe this. I wouldn't make her raise a baby all by herself again. _I'm_ not like that." Luke said. "I love her more than anything."

"Don't blame that on me. We were sixteen." Chris said, shaking his head slightly.

"Whatever, Christopher." Luke put his hands up in surrender. "I need to talk to her. You have to leave." Luke got up and opened the apartment door. Christopher stood up.

"Good Luck, man. She's crazy when she's pregnant." And with that, Christopher left. Luke shut the door behind him and went to grab his coat. He was going over to Lorelai's. He shut down the computer and flicked the light switch to "off."

**YaBiMh...**

"Rory, I can't tell him." Lorelai said to her daughter, who was sitting next to her on the couch.

"Mom, you have to." Rory said while pulling another tissue out and handing it to her mother.

"He's going to be so mad. I'm doing the same thing to him as he did to me with April. It's not fair."

"Imagine how mad he would be if you never told him. What if this kid wanted to find its father? How do you think Luke would feel then? You'd be no better than Anna."

"You're right. I'm not better than Anna. How sad is that? I never pictured myself as the kind of woman keeps a child away from its dad." Lorelai said, wiping a few tears from her eyes.

"Oh, come here." Rory put her arms out. Lorelai crawled over to her and gave her a hug. She wouldn't let go. Rory was her pride and joy. She couldn't imagine having another baby.

"I love ya, kid."

"I love you too, mom."

**YaBiMh...**

Thoughts were running through Luke's head. What if she won't let him have anything to do with the baby? No, wait; she wouldn't do that, would she? Maybe she would. What if there's something wrong? Why would she think he'd leave if he knew? He loved April, why wouldn't he love his new child?

After a minute of thinking, he was in her driveway. He saw Rory's car. Oh, no. She was here. He couldn't go in there now. Oh, well. He'll just sit here and wait for her until Rory left.

"I need coffee."

"You can't have coffee."

"Why?"

"Pregnant women aren't supposed to have coffee."

"You turned out fine, didn't you?"

"Physically, yes. But I'm addicted to it too." Rory said, crossing her arms.

"So?"

"Oh, fine. But just one cup."

"I can deal with that, for now." Lorelai said.

**YaBiMh...**

"Maybe I should just go in. Rory already knows, so what's the big deal?" Luke said to no one in particular. He unbuckled his seatbelt and got out of the car. The walk up to the front door looked so long all of a sudden. He started up the driveway and stood in front of the door.

What was he going to say to her? What could he say to her in front of Rory? His hand reached out involuntarily and knocked on the door. Something had come over him. He knew he _had _to do this now.

**YaBiMh...**

"Was that the door?" Rory asked.

"Yeah. I'll go get it." Lorelai said. She put her mug down and walked to the front door. Opening it, she saw him. Oh, no. What was she going to do now?

"Mom? Who is it?" Rory asked, coming to stand next to her mom. "Oh. Hi, Luke."

"Hey, Rory." Luke said awkwardly. "Lorelai, I need to talk to you. In private."

"I need Rory here." Lorelai said, putting her arm around her daughter's waist.

"Fine. Can I, uh, come in?" Luke asked.

Lorelai stood to the side and let him come in. She shut the door behind him and motioned over to the couch. Rory took a seat in the chair, while Luke and Lorelai sat on the couch.

"Are you pregnant?" Luke asked Lorelai.

Lorelai looked over at Rory, who shrugged. "I didn't say anything."

"So you are?" Luke asked again.

Lorelai nodded, and then burst into tears. Luke gathered her up into his arms and held her.

"I'm, uh, going to Lane's," Rory said, getting up and leaving.

"Christopher came to the diner about an hour ago. He told me." Luke said, stroking her back.

"I was afraid you'd leave." Lorelai said into Luke's flannel.

"I'd never leave you again. Not in a million years." Lorelai wriggled out of his grasp and looked into his eyes.

"Do you promise?"

"I promise." She pressed her lips to his, throwing her arms around his neck. He deepened the kiss slightly, and licked her bottom lip, begging for entrance. She granted him, but he pulled back after a second. "Remember our plans for tonight?"

Lorelai smiled, and tilted her head towards the stairs.

Luke got off the couch and picked her up carefully. He carried her up the stairs and into her bedroom.

"Before we get carried away, are we allowed to do this?"

"Yeah."

"You're sure? It won't hurt the baby?"

"Nope."

Luke smiled and dropped her onto the bed gently.

**YaBiMh...**

"That beat last time!" Lorelai said, her head resting on Luke's chest, blankets up to her chest.

"That it did," Luke said, kissing the top of her head.

Lorelai closed her eyes and took a deep breath. "This is perfect."

"Yeah." Luke said. He sighed.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing. We should get married."

"No."

"What?"

"I'm not getting married because I'm pregnant. Christopher tried the same thing. Those are actually the same words he used."

"That's not why I want to marry you. I've always wanted to marry you. I told you that in my very first letter."

"I don't think this is the right time though." Lorelai said softly.

"Why not?"

"Everyone's going to think we're getting married because of the baby."

"Who cares what people think, Lorelai. Since when have you _ever _cared what people thought? You had a baby when you were sixteen. Did you care what people thought then?"

"No."

"Then you shouldn't care now."

"Let's get married."

**YaBiMh...**

7 months later, Lorelai Danes gave birth to a healthy 7 pound, 4 ounce baby girl she named Alexis Danes. She had light brown hair and bright blue eyes, just like her parents. Lorelai had to keep the Lorelai tradition going somehow, so Alexis's middle name was Lorelai.

Luke was happy to have another daughter. He couldn't wait to watch this baby grow up. He wanted to see her first smile, her first steps, her first word, everything. He was going to be able to watch it this time.

Sookie was named godmother, with Christopher as the godfather. Without Christopher, Luke probably wouldn't have been there during Lorelai's pregnancy. He doubted she would have told him before the baby was born. Sookie was the obvious choice as godmother, seeing as Lorelai was the godmother to Martha. So, with Luke and Lorelai as parents, Rory and April as sisters, and Sookie and Christopher as godparents, this kid had a great life in front of her.

As for Luke and Lorelai, they were happy where they were. They had a baby, and they also had Rory and April. Life couldn't have been better.

_The End_


End file.
